Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Zoo Brew, Santa Barbara

My friend Evan graduated from University of Santa Barbara this weekend and I went down for his graduation ceremony. While I was there we attended the annual Zoo Brew. I thought this would be a great time to try a bunch of local breweries and try their beer. Unlike most beer events I go to that you pay for tokens and then each sip of beer is a token this beerfest was all you can drink. Furthermore, the glasses that you drank out of were the bottom half of a reused beer bottle (They cut the tapered top off). This was pretty cool, and they painted or etched a logo in it, also cool.
Once again I am just ranking these beers how much I liked them now how accurate the were to their style or any pretentious garbage like that. Just how much I liked them that day, at that time. This reading as I have discovered is sometimes influenced by the amount I have imbibed.

Brewery-Beer-Rank-Description

Firestone - Humboldt Brown - A This was a very good brown nutty

Alaskan Brewing - White - B+ This was a beer I had tried many times before but they were giving out a ton of free swag. Which I am just a whore for free stuff and since it was all you could drink I didn't mind waiting in line for a beer I had already tried. Also the swag I got was pretty epic, A beer cozy snap bracelet.... Yeah let that soak in for a minute. It was insulated beer cozy material with two snap bracelets sewn into the fabric so it wrapped around your beer and kept it nice and cool. Unfortunately, I forgot it in Santa Barbara.

Anacapa Brewery - Golden Ale - B Good and refreshing golden, nothing remarkable about it but it tasted good.

The Brewhouse - Santa Barbara - Habenero Pilsner - B+ Hot. Very nice in you like hot things. Even though it was pretty hot outside this was still good to drink. I really like hot foods so this may not be the beer for everyone. I may try some habeneros in a beer soon.

Figueroa Mountain Brewing - Hoppy Poppy Ipa - C unremarkable good but nothing to write home about. This was probably a good beer but living in the Northwest I have become overwhelmed with IPA's so I have come to expect more.

FAKE CELEBRITY WATCH:
While at this event my friends I came to find my friends sitting at a table with a couple girls. One of them introduced herself as Rebecca. After some small talk and a tiny awkward pause she asked if anyone knew who Rebecca Black was. After a pause I did. In case you don't she is a tween internet sensation who created an auditory assault known as "Friday". I dont know why she wanted everyone to know this, maybe she thought we would be impressed. Also she was very quick to whip out her drivers licence to prove it. Very trustingly she let one of the drunk group of frat boys (Me) take a picture of her I.D. giving me access to her home address. I must just be very trustworthy, she was very dumb or maybe just real drunk. The most likely scenario is all three. I blocked out her important information so none of you internet creepers can go stalk her.
To Clarify: This was not the teen pop sensation Rebecca Black just a girl with the same name that was proud of that fact.


Karl Strauss - Red Trolley Ale - C I didn't like this beer. I should have guessed becasue it was one of the shortes lines at the end of the beerfest when a lot of the breweries were just pouring foam

Karl Strauss - Pintail Pale Ale- C I dont really remember this beer but all I wrote in the notepad on my phone was 'durrrrr' so I'm guessing I didn't like it. We were hanging out by this tent and I drank my previous beer really fast because we were allegedly going to go see the animals.

ANIMAL TIME:
At this point I am definitely drunk so we decided what better to do than go see the animals so on the way we stopped for a "to-go" beer at Sierra Nevada since it was close to the exit.

Sierra Nevada - Summerfest - B Good summer ale.

Apparently you are not allowed to bring beers to go see the animals so we had to chug our last beer before our animal viewing began. Which we were happy to do. Upon exiting the beer garden our first trip was to the elephants which were no where to be found so along to the next beast. On the way to the monkeys we were stopped by zoo security and informed that the zoo was closing! This was unfortunate because Evan really wanted to see the animals this year since last year he did the same thing.
At least the ZooBrew was still open so back to drinking we went. First I needed to pee really bad though.

BATHROOM TRIP:
In line for the bathroom some douche bag tells us that the lines are a lot shorter over by the portapotties so I thank him and go see. Twas all a trick. I quickly realize his clever ruse and return to the zoo's bathrooms and continue waiting. About 5 people from entering the bathroom a girl from the female bathroom asks if she can just go in the guys bathroom. Since silence is acceptance and nobody said no, she cut to the head of the guys line and waited outside the ONE stall.
This girl must have really needed to go because what I saw next will haunt me for the rest of my life. With someone occupying the stall with the door half open, since he was just peeing I assume, this girl pulls her pants down to her knees exposing her rather larger posterior for all to see. After about 10 seconds of the gentlemen finishing in the stall it was her turn so she ran in there pants at half mast all that was seen was what looked like a very stressed thong. When she competed and washed her hands I got a picture with this her for some reason, maybe I thought it would be a funny story to post on a blog.

After my gender-line pushing bathroom experience I returned to drink more beer.

Island Brew Company - Black Mamba Black IPA - NR - Unfortunately I forgot to rate this beer since I was getting pretty drunk at this point. Evan went to go get it for me, I do remember it being good though.

Wolf Creek Brewery - Mountain Hawk Red- B- very hoppy covers up red taste just hop flavor

At this point all the breweries were blowing foam so we decided to get something to eat, and what better place than a brew pub. The brewery of choice was Holister Brewing Company.

Hollister Brewing Company - The Pope IPA - B+ This was a good northwestern strong hop flavor aroma but not overly abrasive.

SUMMARY:
Overall this was a great weekend and I tried a lot of good local beers and had a great time. I would highly recommend ZooBrew to anyone that wants to experience California beers and, if you dont get too drunk or go too late, look at animals.

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